Author is not an alien

Author is not an alien
I write because we had deleted enough

Sunday, September 30, 2012

The great Indian tamasha called "ARRANGED MARRIAGE"

The whole procedure of finding a perfect match for the son/daughter who have attained the so called marriageable age is amusing.Suddenly sprung up a whole new species called"Shadiraam Gharjode" who drop by every Sunday ,suggest some "potential candidates "over heavy breakfast and two rounds of "Adrak waali Chai"  and make your parents guilty of the fact that their daughter is still not married and when this phase ends then starts the real torture-Matrimonial sites :profiles,calls asking "Ladki ka color fair to hoga na,jyada healthy to nahi,koi past wagairah ho to bate de"and ofcourse the compatibility acquires a different parameters; aajkal B.E.+MBA ki demand jyada hai technical match ban jata hai (Give me a break dude ,are you planning to discuss circuits all through your life) .When naadi,gotra,profession,dowry,family status are matched then they come down to taking the opinions of the future bride and groom 
Why does this institution of arranged marriage survive in India in this day and age? the India i am talking about is of educated middle class where the incidence of arranged marriages are not only high but also considered as a legitimate way of finding a mate The answer lies partly in the elasticity of this institutions and indeed most traditional customs that allows it to expand its definition to accommodate modernity so today's arranged marriages places individual's will at center and parents assume a role where their one hand is raised for blessing and other immersed in wallet
the arrangement in arranged is clearly a manufactured one sometimes taking some pseudo forms like a blind date,online meet ups, the reality swayamvar type shows all aim to let one meet a potential spouse Here the idea of love is not so gently manufactured by contriving a spark or overflow of hormones but rather a well planned robbery 
In the west the idea of marriage has a notion that starts when one proposes and the other can withhold it for an indefinite period of time So we have marriage as a mirage that shimmers frequently but materializes rarely but imagine the same ,when venues and the day of Roka has been fixed and even which car is to be given as a gift can a girl think over the proposal?
At a more fundamental level Marriage is only significant relationship that we enter by choice.....(hmm..or maybe we think so) we live in a sticky collective environment where individuality remains blurred when "A young saraswat ,handsome boy earning five figure salary"remains sufficient and of course the space for substitution always persists
In an era where future and security hold more promise than present arranged marriages continue to hold their charm .Whether choked int radition or cloaked with modernity this institution of arranged marriage needs some serious help because sustenance of a long term marriage brings along with it a personal growth

Wasn't marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded? Wasn't it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt?"

Monday, September 17, 2012


Barfi - when words seem so useless ,when eyes do 
the wonder ;they reflect jealousy,love,attraction 
pity,sympathy,hatred, despair,helplessness !it took 
me back to the time when on Saturday evenings I
used to visit Prayas ; A home for mentally challanged 
unwanted kids in bhilai (some newspapers claiming 
that its a motivation behind 'Barfi' as Subrata Bose 
was closely associated with it ) Dealing with some of 
the personal problems in life those two hours at 
prayas gave me solace ! Kids playing,dancing 
,drawing made u forget the "Normal " in your 
existence ! One fine day I was told that a girl named 
khushi was crying n pushing everyone back as she 
attained puberty and was going through a biological process where she needed her mother to explain her the changes ! I tried to explain her but all in vain ,she just kept her head on my lap n cried ,cried ,slept ! Back home I could not sleep ,went to sleep with mom n dad ,I hugged them and thought I was so fortunate to have them in life and then cursed god ,cursed him that if u have not given them the ability to think,to understand then why gave them emotions ,the harmones ,the biological features ,what if they love someone ,how would they express it ! And whoa "Barfi" answered my questions ;the two scenes when Ranbir kapoor is heartbroken and through his hands n eyes says it all(you carry the legacy of Raj Kapoor from jaagte raho man) ,Second when Priyanka Chopra covers him with her hands to say to Ileana that he is mine ,stay away are just picture perfect !watch Barfi for a beautiful locales of drajeeling ,for the kolkata of 70s , for the uncomplicated life when we were not socialy networked ,for a person who does not need some so called abilities to be happy ,for the selfless love without blood relations ,for some of the lovely songs ! Barfi gives us a message that a love which does not end in a happy ending is not a lost one ,for love is above the physical intimacy of "50 shades of grey" its pure like a morning dew .its like falling in love all over again ,"pyaar ke sikkon se chal banyein ashiyaan..................................................sehar"

Have you ever been in love
With someone you can never have?
So close you can touch her hand
Yet, so far to feel her heart?

Have you ever lived in pretense
Quietly loving without any condition?
A feeling of love that's unknown
Hiding it, not knowing for how long.

Have you ever fallen deeply
Loving the person unconditionally?
So afraid to say what you feel
Acting normal, keeping things still.

Have you ever been hurt unintentionally
But put on a smile, pretended to be happy?
Deep inside you're in pain and suffering
But outside you're jolly and laughing.

Why does holding her hand feel so right?
Your heart smiles everytime she's at sight
Hearing her sweet voice makes your day
Hope you can hug her in a special way.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

A naked Harry, apolegetic Kristen and Obama's beer -A new face of globalisation

Welcome to this new age of 24*7 news channels and over competitive print media feeding us with news every single day which makes me wonder ,do we really need to know such details?  Indian media has been recognized as sensitive, patriotic and a very influential tool in the sociopolitical sphere since the days of the freedom movement. The father of the Indian nation Mahatma Gandhi initiated his movement with the moral power of active journalism. Today, India with its over a billion population supports nearly 70,000 registered newspapers and over 450 Television channels (including some 24x7 news channels). The Indian media, as a whole, often plays the role of constructive opposition in the Parliament as well as in various Legislative Assemblies of the states.  Journalists are, by and large, honored and accepted as the moral guide in the Indian society. For democratic India, the media continues to be acclaimed as the fourth important pillar after the judiciary, parliament and bureaucratic set-up.

Unfortunately what we are being fed up today is : A prince known for his adventurous tactics  celebrates his birthday in Las Vegas style and for the whole month we had this same news , A celebrity girlfriend issues a public apology to his guy and helloz we even have editorials over it ,White House issues the recipe of beer and why are we going ga-ga over it?

Ok i confess,they are fun to read but then daily? Don't we have bigger issues back home and more humanitarian issues at international level too  - the public money is spent in scams,a dwindling economy ,Unemployment ,A war torn Syria ,Food crisis in Sub Saharan countries

"The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.  ~David Brinkley"

"Journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones is dead" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive.  ~G.K. Chesterton" 

Happy Reading ....................Sehar